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I really appreciate the honesty and self-awareness of this piece, I especially like how you called back to your earlier poems. I love the imagery of the porch in the middle!
Something I've been doing with Muse pieces in general is callbacks! Usually via metaphors echoing forwards. I find it fun and it inspires me to find ways to connect them.
this is really beautiful!!! i loved reading it! thank you so much for sharing, the imagery was fantastic and dazzling!
there is a lot of honesty in this piece that is very well-balanced with a certain artistic flair. I really like the format of the Shakespearean sonnet and the rhyme scheme, I think it adds to the musicality of the piece quite well!
incredibly relatable, love your use of Icarion as a word. also, don't know if you did this on purpose but "i pray everyday for my body to align with the plans i fashion in my mind" is very tran/non-binary coded, which i loved.
Sometimes you read the first line of a poem and know it'll be good. This is one of those poems. The rest followed through, but that first line is going to stick with me.
this was wonderful and relatable... i loved the rhyme scheme and the overall sentiment. i like that it seemed to be positive at the end, there is hope! remember to take care of yourself.
ohhh maybe i just love how a blank website page feels like a cathedral but this hit so hard & so well ... rlly lovely imagery ! !
@angelogistics there is something holy to be found in enclosed emptiness… thank you for the praise <3
what a beautiful and poignant poem - seconding that the imagery is stunning, you incapsulated so much history, grief and hope in a few words. thank you for sharing your artistry with us!
The fractal horses of all things really connected with me. Gorgeous visuals, and it feels rooted somehow in a way that a lot of poetry doesn't.
@owlroost thank you, i had fun imagining an infinite scale of little horses heheh
this was really awesome - everybody who said that the imagery is amazing is absolutely correct. an amazing piece. thank you for sharing!
absolutely love the format! very effective choice to have no punctuation, it makes the abundant imagery all the more potent!
thank you so much ryo!!! i was worried it would take away a lot of the clarity (not a bad thing in itself) but that that would compromise the impact. i'm glad it didn't!
this was so beautiful, i genuinely feel a bit tearful now! i'm really glad to have read this! thank you for sharing!
this is such a well-crafted and evocative piece of writing. the last two lines especially are so powerful!
i really liked this one! it really highlights just how panicked one's anxious thoughts can become, and it really nailed it on the head with how quickly it tends to escalate too. i especially like the touch of making it a run-on.
i love the rambling style of this!! i feel like it helps add to the emotion of the piece mwah
i like this a lot!! it's very cool and the run on structure is excellent. great work as always, ryo!
really liked the escalation of scale and how you cheekily tied it back to the beginning ^^
I really like how you focussed on not only the graduality of distress but that of hope, as well. I appreciate how it ends on a note of self-forgiveness, the whole thing put a smile on my face. the format is also very interesting!
thank you! when writing it i was thinking of a computer terminal, and the straightforwardness of prompt fills.
this was really nice to read, i'm glad there was hope as well as despair and that it all felt like a process with the best intentions of the character/voice in mind, by the end of it!
this is so amazing... i really loved reading through it, it's beautiful and the repetition is so powerful and poignant. so proud of you for sharing this, thank you.
what a beautiful and powerful lament. I love how you went down each line one at a time and how terribly human it all is. thank you for your art!
this is such a beautiful poem! i'm glad that ikb 79 speaks to you so much, it really is a wonderful shade of blue. - j
i love this sm ! what a perfect moment to focus in on (hi sorry didn't want to change accounts to reply)
I love the new poem so much - the promise of conformity can feel comforting at times, yet for so many of us it is nothing more than a slow-acting poison. thank you for putting it into words so beautifully, the love and hope in this piece are inspiring!
you're so sweet, thank you so much! i defiinitiely think the way we ask ourselves to conform can sometimes be euphoric, but also really harmful sometimes, n it was nice to acknowledge that while still showing respect for all the collected knowledge on how to pass, etc
"on lou sullivan’s advice" is so so beautiful and important... i like your rhymes
" ...I should try to want like a man does / without pause or question." hits hard!!!
incredibly resonating. its so frustrating when you finally discover who you are, yet instead of being able to bask in the joy of that you have to constantly keep fighting what feels like a losing battle of conformity. oh can't believe how strange it is to be anything at all...
oh, and it goes without saying, but you're a great writer and i always love reading your prompts <3
you guys are all so sweet, ty kindly !! i'm really glad the poem resonates with you guys. it's suchhh a frustrating feeling to be forced into conformity and i think it's once we all feel at some point or another
I like this, in a sense it feels like an ode to life itself in all its facets through the cyclicality of the oroborous. I think your passion for its imagery shines through very clearly!
this made me smile a lot as i read it. i like the ouroboros too and this poem felt so earnestly joyful and appreciative of the cyclicality of the cosmos!
loveeee your choice of language, feels very flowy and powerful at the same time :))
AHH this is so cool & i love that you fucked around with two prompts at once !! awesome move :]
that last line hits hard, I love your version of it. I get the sense of an ember of hope burning through the desperation and exhaustion. Great work!
this is so awesome, i really liked it. it's so powerful and heavy and tender all at once!
thank you for sharing this with us, it's a very powerful and evocative poem - can't speak for the original piece but it's a great translation, I'm sure the former is just as biting!
@xalli @ryo thank you so much!! that means a lot to me! translating stuff is fun, especially when you get to play with it a little! :D
@caesthoffe thank you so much!! after writing, i was delighted to learn that nobody has ever translated this particular poem before i did (and if they did, it's not online) - j
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welcome to our cult /j
ahhh so exciting !! feel free to join us with a /muse page anytime :]