regarding not knowing who you are, i've always found a more useful question to be "what do you want?" (i'm paraphrasing a tumblr textpost here, actually). some people benefit from pinpointing and adopting a specific identity that appeals to them, whereas the process is just anxiety-inducing for others
it's harder for you, since your parents are transphobic (i know what that's like, unfortunately), but the thing about the "who am i, really?" question is that as you get used to your transition whether you're trans and/or non-binary it sort of lessens in intensity. it isn't as much of a burning question when you have the chance to emulate the qualities you desire (i.e ones that are neutral or feminine in nature)
Gosh thanks! I'd honestly love to be really feminine but idk if it aligns with my personality. It'd be so cute~
"Why are things so complicated?" If only I knew.