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It sounds like you are dealing with *a lot* of stress right now...It is not always readily apparent when manipulation is occurring, so you are not a "stupid idiot" if you happen to fall victim to it. Some people can be very selfish and cunning, but thankfully, not everyone is dishonest in that way...

...Some questions that I find helpful to ask myself when trying to assess this: "How do words match up with actions on a consistent basis? If they regularly contradict, how trustworthy are they?" Charisma means nothing if it is based on lies, but the only way to determine that is through patient observation...

...Likewise, please do not give up on investing in your mental-emotional and physical health. Change takes time. Instead of beating ourselves up over the moments that we backslide, we can use what we learn to refine the process. It becomes easier when we try to find ways to make healthy habits more enjoyable and less like a chore...

...In short, aim for consistency rather than "perfection". Track your progress, not your failures...I hope none of this comes off as "unwanted advice". I simply want to encourage you in the constructive things that you are already doing. Take care. 🌻

Thank you both for your kindness! T_T Truly, it has brought a smile (and watery eyes) to my face.