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I can't wait (as in, I physically cannot wait any longer) to get the gender psychologist person, I'm so fucking fed up with myself I can't keep it together much longer if this rotten streak of days keeps on going and getting even worse. Problem is that I don't think they can speed themselves up, everything is booked and they can't really force me into someone else's schedule,
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I *could* try to get an hrt recipee before even meeting the psychologist but I don't know if that'd go over well with my dad. And I need it NOW I needed it YESTERDAY, if my voice keeps getting deeper on its own and fucking up my progress I'm gonna end up under a bridge somewhere I can't take much more of my throat's shit
singing german songs in my best possible girl voice is how I got to my peak but now I can't seem to even get started with them, I slip up, I miss notes, I sound so out of tone and just bad I can't stand doing it because it pushes me further down. Not only that but my voice isn't as smooth as it was either it vibrates so much now it's like a guitar who's frets were never filed in 50 years I hate it so much