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I'll tell you guys how the talk with my mom goes when I tell her in a bit but for now; I actually hate myself SO MUCH I was on omegle today playing guitar and idk what it was if the lighting or smth but in my throat you could VERY clearly make out a bulge and I got off as soon as I noticed, the way I make voices now has changed, like I input the same things but they go different places it's weird and I hate it
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also I've heard people in my city are capable of getting hrt over the counter without recipee for 8€... THIS THING THAT JUST HAPPENED THAT COULD'VE BEEN AVOIDED WILL NOW BE WITH ME UNTIL I GET AN EXPENSIVE SURGERY! I love my decision making and research skills so much I'm going to throw a party in their honour
if the talk doesn't go well I at least now know I can do it behind their backs, not like I want to but if things keep moving this fucking slow while my body prepares the coup de grace or whatever the fuck I might just have to, even if she agrees, I will curl up into a ball and die if another permanent unwanted change hits my very much finite existence