Love the use of repetition and spacing! Adds to that feeling of glancing at someone hoping they'll accidentally meet your eyes.
seconding owlroost! the use of space here is wonderful! you did a very good job of conveying that emotion of brief serendipity! - j
I absolutely love your vocabulary and the imagery you paint through it, very evocative!
wow, this was so cool and visceral and interesting to read... your word choices are sublime!!! - j
this is such a well-written yet raw piece - I definitely recognise the long-gone pattern of intrusive thoughts. I also really appreciate the advice at the beginning and at the end, it's all so very thoughtful. thank you so much for sharing!
this is a really good piece, and i am really happy that you had gabriel in your life for that brief encounter. we've struggled with suicidality too, your piece really captures that thought pattern well. my sister's bf is called gabriel, maybe good people are just called that... - j
ok this made me cry (tho ive fortunately not had to deal w such thoughts, but simply seem to be slipping into some rough patch these past couple days that im tryin to handle ok enough)
such an evocative poem, loved the story! really interesting rhyme scheme too, kind of like a double triplet variation of terza rima
thank you!! it's based off the frog princess fairytale, the slavic version of it! and the rhyme scheme is genuinely my favourite rhyme scheme to use... i think we first encountered it in "the destroyer" by robert graves, and then decided that it was just the best rhyme scheme and ours now. - j
love the format, feels like somewhat of a hero's journey - the process of unravelling and rebuilding one's identity. Thank you for sharing, and congrats on your first prompt!
thank you sm for joining !! this is such a beautiful piece (i v much agree & love that i can feel a journey through it). can't wait to see your future entries :]
He sounds like he was a wonderful man. I feel like I got a little of your love towards him through your writing- he might be gone, but it's okay to still care.
this was extremely beautiful and heartfelt!! it makes me think of my own grandparents, my maternal grandfather died when i was 7 too... all your emotions are okay and valid and please take as long as you need to grieve! - j
thank you so much for sharing this with us - it's such a bittersweet piece. I remember feeling that same misplaced anger you speak of - I don't think we ever fully stop grieving but I believe it means they left an impact on you and that piece of them will be with you for as long as you live.