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Focusing on single player games is really difficult, and I have no advice to help with that! With the city issue, though, have you considered taking it block by block to make it more managable? (like, "today, I'll help NPCs standing between the armorer and the tavern in the SW corner")
I never make meaningful progress of any CRPG past act 1. I just get too overwhelmed and if I put it down for more than a week I forget everything. And there's always so many items...
tbh the absolute size of BG3 is what has put me off playing it in the first place, even though I loved BG1 and BG2. Elden Ring for example while an excellent game is absolutely huge and I feel like a lot of content could be cut and the game still be just as good. One thing that's helping keep me going in Elden Ring is breaking it down into "oh maybe I'll try explore x dungeon"
In BG1 and BG2 my interest waned after getting to the big city as well because I tend to enjoy more focused areas a lot better. If you can ignore the side quests and try focus on the main quest it might help get through it because you can always go back and do side quests later if you want to (I didn't but it's about tricking your brain)
Thanks for everyone's thoughts on this! I'm glad to know it's not just a me thing and that other folks also feel this way from time to time!