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Man, this diary entry hit me really hard. Self-loathing is a bitch, and I struggle to overcome it on a daily basis, to the point where I get no work done, which leads to an endless downward spiral of hate and anger. I do my best to not lash out at others, but it comes across as me bottling up these feelings.
If I could, Iโd give you a hug right now.
I don't really suffer from self-loathing myself but I can relate to the idea of being worried that everything will come crashing down soon. I know nothing about mental health so I can't really help much, but I hope things improve for you. Sorry that I'm pretty useless.