From one bipolar person to another, I'm so sorry. In my experience, it'll get worse before it gets better. I don't mean that as discouragement either, just the truth. People arenβt lying when they say things get better, but the thing is you wonβt believe them till you live & experience it for yourself. If this is too personal & unsolicited, please feel free to delete this message. I just wanted you to know that I
understand you at least somewhat & hope you begin to feel better soon, even if the path is arduous. Please stay strong, Vashti.
Thank you for your encouragement, Vashti, it's appreciated! I intended this writing to be a review of Yung Lean's Agony but due to the history regarding the song I ended up using it as an outlet to talk about my own time in a psychiatric unit haha
I think about it a lot. But it often takes the form of relating Polybius' Anacyclosis to the branches of the US government as PKD's quote of "The Empire never ended" resounds in my head. https://letslearntogether.neocities.org/scispirit/Misc/PKD/experience.html
No problem. And thank you for sharing those events!...They are some fascinating bits of history that evoke a lot of ideas for me...
I can identify with the feeling of being so burnt out from work that you literally cannot do anything other than sleep your free time away. It is especially tiresome when your place of residence cannot be a sanctuary for you to some extent; never quite at rest. But what factors can you control? How can you make a place of peace around yourself? [1of8]
I wouldn't mind working most jobs if it didn't also feel like I was compromising my values by contributing to a system that undermines life. So, I ended up homeless, and have been since May. The first few weeks were extremely difficult because it was a sudden change that I was unprepared for at the time. Hypothetically speaking, if you had no steady source of income, how would you survive? [2of8]
Some immediate concerns of mine were getting enough water throughout the triple-digit heat of the day, and staying warm enough as the temperatures dropped dramatically at night. Thankfully, the park had water fountains and one of the park workers left behind a roll of trash bags that worked decently enough as a blanket until I could get my jacket. [3of8]
The next concern was finding a spot to sleep without being harassed. Since I don't have a car, I tried using everything as a bed. Boulders at the top of a hill, a patch of dirt on the side of the library, a picnic table on the outskirts of the park, a ditch behind the movie theater, and so on. Saving up enough money to get a cheap tent was a turning point. [4of8]
The rain was especially painful. I learned how to waterproof my tent by draping a plastic drop cloth over the top of it and clipping that to a tarp wrapped around the bottom of it, so that water rolls away from it instead of pooling underneath it. [5of8]
The final concern was finding food and toiletries. I do not beg and I am not on welfare, so I try to make things stretch as much as possible. Generic cans of beans and packages of baby wipes are very helpful. I try to keep clean and keep to myself as much as possible. It can be tricky striking a balance when interacting with other people who are homeless. [6of8]
I try to share what I can, but I am also cautious as sometimes people can be vicious when they are desperate. A couple of things have stood out to me during all of this: The kindness of people that I both know and don't know. How free I feel, despite not having a lot of physical things. [7of8]
I am certain the world will change for the better, and I spend the vast majority of my time dwelling on what exactly that would entail...In all honesty, your journals often draw stuff out of me that I would probably never talk about anywhere else. I genuinely hope that my comments help you find strength and hope in some small way. Take care. [8of8]
I'm glad my writing was able to help you talk about things you normally don't share, I thank you for your thoughtful comments. Stay safe out there. :)
Woah, what a find! Thank you for sharing that book! I feel as if I need a deeper background in the subject matter. [1of4]
Personally, if I were to attempt to summarize a "coherent alternative": What matters most is not the "material reality", but the knowledge that leads to its creation. As human beings, the most fundamental knowlege is that which helps us to fulfill our basic needs on a physical level (e.g.: food, clothes, shelter) and on a mental-emotional level (e.g.: autonomy, competence, relatedness). [2of4]
The idea of economics is often based on lack, whereas the natural resources that underlie our physical needs are self-regenerative. Therefore, it is key that there be a wide distribution of DIY information on becoming self-sufficient in a manner that is sustainable, and simultaneously, the creation of equity through mutual aid. In the process, the ecological and social environments are completely repaired. [3of4]
In my opinion, this cuts directly to "human universals" in a way that can be measured without getting stuck within various religious/political ideologies, but it requires genuine empathy to implement it. I haven't read this anywhere, but it feels like part of my purpose is to help fulfill it or die trying. [4of4]